#20: While I bloom

Not having a schedule for the newsletter isn’t helping much — months go by and I wait for something “important” to say. It turns out, I never think that I do! Given enough time, however, I start missing the act of writing.

When I first started blogging I wanted to have my pain seen whilst making silly jokes. I didn’t know this at the time. For better or worse, every few years/months I would delete everything, leaving no trace of my old blog. Well, almost no trace.

I recently spent an evening stalking myself on the WaybackMachine.

Lately, I have been feeling good. Happy. Comfortable in my skin. Soon I will be turning 30 and I’m doubting many of the notions that got stuck to my identity along the way. Questions like, am I really quiet? Am I really shy? Or did things just happen to me? I’m returning to the playful nature I had as a kid, finding myself dancing, singing and having stupid fun. I tried writing at length about it, but I don’t imagine it being interesting to anyone other than me. Besides, Hayley Williams said it better in Watch Me While I Bloom. There’s nothing else to add to it.

How lucky I feel to be in my body again

How lovely I feel not to have to pretend

Shocking to feel a positive charge / Innocuous thrill / Big invisible spark

You wanna look inside of me and just watch me bloom

You only got one side of me, here's something new

If you feel like you're never gonna reach the sky,

'Til you pull up your roots, leave your dirt behind

I'm alive in spite of me,

and I'm on the move

So come and look inside of me

Watch me while I bloom.

Short news from my web3 life (stay with me!): I made a new contract through Manifold for my individual photographs and this is the ASCII art

I am unreasonably proud of it. It’s a blooming anemone!

If you want to know more about NFTs, here’s an excellent resource I wish I had read one year ago.

Have a swell November. Try headbanging sometimes (use your whole upper body). Twerking is great, too.

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