31

not counting newsletters anymore, but years and more recently, weeks

Nov 30, 2023

Hi! I’m so sorry for not sending anything in almost a year (gasp). I had no good reason and was still very much online.

Drafts never got completed and a lot of life happened. We moved to a new place in winter, which was great for my Winter Flowers project. I’ll show you the photos soon. In spring, I ended my therapy journey after 3 years. As soon as it was over I had no more desire to continue spilling my past in the Dear Padua series. I think I’ve successfully reconnected all versions of alina.

How therapy started (Nov 2020) and how it ended (March 2023). Weirdly enough wearing the same turtleneck.

In May, I got my annual dose of Italian sunshine. But what I’m trying to get to is that by the end of that month, I found out I was pregnant! What a moment that was. I am now 31 weeks pregnant - the reality of it has fully sunk in - but in that moment everything felt surreal. I couldn’t believe that it was happening to me. For weeks I continuously felt I was in a “no one knows I’m pregnant” meme.

The first trimester has been physically tough on me but enough time has passed, so I now find it easy to underestimate how shitty it was. The usual nasty stuff. The brain is an interesting thing. It shifted my priorities, sent me all kinds of scary baby dreams, and made me less sharp. You can notice that by the length of my sentences, which is why I’ll keep this short!

I just wanted to let you know that today I’m turning 31, I’m 31 weeks pregnant and we’re having a girl.