Gaia Isabella

My daughter was born six months ago. Her name is Gaia Isabella and she is perfect in every way. I love her so much. Words cannot describe it, but I will try to recount some events that changed my life. 

Birth

My due date was a mere suggestion. Gaia did not want to leave the comfort of my belly. But with each purple sunset, I kept thinking, she's coming, she's coming. “Is she waiting for it to snow?” was my thought when I felt more uncomfortable. It had been a snowless winter so far. 

One day I received a call at six in the morning. I was sleeping but I instantly thought oh shit it's happening. A bed was freed for my induction if I wanted to come in. I said, ok, we'll be there in about an hour, thank you. I took a shower, in disbelief for the entirety of it, and prepared my last things for the hospital bag. Then I checked the weather app. Holy shit.

Before getting pregnant I had this vague idea of what giving birth was like. We've all seen the movies. Yes, they're not completely realistic, but how different can it be? Oh, very much so. I felt completely overwhelmed by the reality of it while I was on a bed, practically naked in my hospital gown, and ten doctors were introducing themselves to me, while a midwife was trying to find a “good” vein (I don’t have those, apparently!).

Bumpin’ that.

Once I was put on oxytocin, my body knew what to do. The pain of the contractions wasn't too strong, but at some point, I thought I didn't want to know how bad they could get. I could hear the horrific screams next door. I accepted the epidural, and in just a few hours I was told I was ready to push—another moment of disbelief. But yet again, my body knew what to do. 

Gaia Isabella was born at 22:42 on 8th February 2024 (08/02/2024). On the only day it snowed that winter. 

First few days

Seeing her for the first time was unbelievable. I was just crying, and crying. She latched onto my breast for the next three hours. It was incredible. She was so small, so soft, so fragile... I couldn't believe my eyes. 

And then came the ugly part. I thought I would want to go into detail about it, but not anymore. The truth is no one cares as long as the baby is healthy and I'm not dead. The bar is low! Anyway, I was hospitalised for a few days. I was in a lot of pain, but thankfully it wasn't too serious and I'm perfectly healthy now.

Home. First few weeks.

Going home with our baby was a very sweet moment. Our place looked the same but I saw it in a different light. The couch that I never used to sit on was now the central point of the house. The coffee table was getting more and more crowded with things I needed in my reach while breastfeeding.

My mother came the next day after my hospitalization.

She brought a pink ribbon, which publicly announces a baby’s arrival in Italy. We hung it on our bedroom door. I took this photo after a short nap. Each time I woke up, I spent the first few minutes in a state of confusion. I wasn’t sure if I was at home or in the hospital. Where is my baby?

As you can see, this orchid had four buds. The first one opened on the day Gaia was born. The second one, on her second week of life. The third... You see where this is going. I’m not kidding.

Breastfeeding sessions (all day all night)

I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping a lot. I didn’t know I would have to actively keep myself awake while holding a newborn. I scrolled on my phone until I reached the weird side of Reddit (you know when that happens?). But that wasn’t enough. Reading is not stimulating. So I watched YouTube with captions. I don’t remember what videos exactly…

On the bright side, I got to see the sunrise every day.

Sweat and milk

On the long list of postpartum phenomena, there’s postpartum sweating. I distinctly remember our smell when Gaia and I were skin-to-skin: sweat and milk.

Checking to see if she’s breathing.

Two months

Gaia was inquisitive almost from the very beginning. As time went on, I could understand her clues more. I learned how to soothe each cry, how to rock her to sleep, and what songs she liked best. There was sunshine to be found on each gray day.

I look forward to sharing more of our journey with you as Gaia continues to grow and as I navigate this beautiful, chaotic adventure of motherhood. Thank you for being a part of our story and for your support along the way.

These days I am outdoors all the time, but you can find me on Instagram. I share more snaps in Stories.

I hope you're all having a beautiful summer filled with your own precious moments and memories.

Thank you for being here ❤️